An anonymous attendee of the Recovery Summit on September 19th
Now that is scary.
What will this person think of me if I am completely open and honest? Will they accept me? Will they criticize me? Will they think there is something wrong with me? These thoughts cross our minds, especially when we care what that other person thinks of us. For example, as I sit here, I am already contemplating how much of “my story” that I want to tell. Do I tell a story? Or do I stay vague and keep from getting personal?
Story time: it was my first sleep over. We are curled up in blankets and chatting the night away. Out of nowhere, I blurt a VERY embarrassing question. I immediately regret asking such a question the second the words leave my mouth! How stupid was I? I do not know this person THAT well. We were in the beginnings of the “friends” stage. And here I am, completely vulnerable, holding my breath and waiting for an answer. Thank goodness they answered easily. They did not judge me. They did not think I was weird. It turns out that they had the same thoughts and we were able to have a pretty good conversation on an embarrassing subject.
What is my point? In order to tell your story, you must first take the risk and begin talking. Who do you talk to? That is completely up to you, whether that be a friend, family member or a counselor. A very wise person once explained that while we may be sitting there worried about what that person is thinking of us - that person is on the other side having those same thoughts!
How do you tell your story? In your own words and through your own experiences. Sometimes it is self-healing to share your words. You can educate others. Your shared experiences can help others understand what you are going through. Addiction is a foreign subject to me. Well, I take that back. Alcoholism runs in my family. Frankly, alcohol scares me. I have reached several instances in my drinking, looking in the mirror and not liking the reflection that appeared back at me. It brought back too many bad memories. Memories that I did not want to relive in my current life. I have control now. I can stop from going down that path.
You have control. Whether you believe that or not, you can make a decision each day. Each day is a new day. And I dare you to tell your story. Find a person and start sharing your story. Maybe the next person you talk to will be the person who helps you stumble to the path that you only wish to seek.